So, a big concern as of late has been about my health. For those that don’t know the primary concern is that I keep getting sick, and each time I get sick its worse and it last longer. For example last week I ended up getting an IV in my arm to rehydrate me and nourish me back to health. It worked (yay!). The issue is for how long. I feel like in 5 more days I will just be sick again. After talking to various doctors and nurses, I have received a full panel blood test specifically for lupus, leukemia, and lymphoma. To me these three are pretty heavy words. I feel like I should be worried but I’m not. Facing this has just cemented the fact to me that the God that I love is a big God. Which means he is so much bigger than any of this. And for today I am just securely resting in him.
It was funny because last week, the doctors were concerned with appendicitis. So I had one really bad day where I was struck with the thought of, “wow any given moment now I could just die.” So after being plagued for half the day I was really struck by the truth of this statement but not because of appendicitis but because we are vulnerable as human beings and there has been many tragedies and untimely or expected deaths that have proved this over and over. So why then do we not live as if each moment is our last, because not to be morbid but it could be and there is great hope that rest within that. And I do not mean by having fun or taking risks but rather investigating the hope that we have in life. Because let’s be honest, when you are dying are you looking for that one last thrill or the meaning behind it all? I think I am going for the latter, which is why I feel blessed because I do know the meaning behind it all! To serve and glorify God, and to help other rest in the hope that I have found in Christ. That is pretty darn awesome. And although this proves to be such a simple statement carrying it out has proved to be the most difficult, compromising, heart wrenching challenge I ever have endured and that my friends is what makes life worth living: when you have something to fight for.
So today I am fighting for the peace just to Rest in God. Here are some of the encouraging verses that are helping me today:
“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:27
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
A spot about me
So warning message: i have no idea if what i wrote below makes sense i just kind of babbled and i'll be honest i am too lazy to go back and change it. So sorry!
So I figured I needed to do one post that is the about me post, so this is it. I am a 22 year old girl, who feels God has called me to embark on a life of missions photography. Although I am not sure how this endeavor will play out, I have recently clung to the fact (as my wonderful friends and family have so lovingly put it) that God does not glorify in where we end up but rather in the walk we take with him to get there. So even though I have no idea where this may take me, God has definitely given me little “cookies” I guess to keep my interest. I know it’s pretty sad that God has to bribe me like a little squirrel to keep me following him, but it’s kind of amazing to me that he does it anyway. That is how involved God is in our world and lives.
Cookie #1 A vision for community
-imagine this. Being actively involved in a person’s life who lives 5,000 miles away would if you talked to on the phone wouldn’t even know what you are saying. To me I really feel burdened to promote and create ideas to achieve a worldwide community of Christians. We are scattered when we have the technology to resolve this. Example, look at the New Testament letters. Mail to months to get to one another yet they have a closer knit community despite the lack of technology then we have today. What I feel my role is to play in this: hmm maybe photographer, or facilitator. My question what is the best way to facilitate this change yet not allow it to take over primary means of communication. I feel like that whole thing was confusing…
Cookie #2 Cynicism and its place within the modern church
-things that make me sad: the corruption of today’s church. Hardly anyone can deny that today’s church faces corruption. A comfort is knowing that yesterdays church did as well. You can hardly read through the New Testament without reading about problems that the church faced back then. It’s through those books that we start to realize that on this Earth the church will always face corruption within its walls. It’s a sad sucky fact but a true one. Although the way to clearly deal with this may be hidden I can certainly give you two ways not to. #1 cynicism. For so many years of my life I hated the church. My way of dealing with this hate was to remove myself from the church with the thought of, “Hey I am better than them.” This primarily was a stupid decision. I prided myself on being above the church because hey I was so postmodern baby. I removed myself from a institution instead of helping it. It’s true the church needs help. But primarily the church as a whole needs our love, as its body. Cutting off the little toe from the body of the church does not heal the rest of the body but rather hurts it and makes it bleed and prone to infection. If you look at the human body when one part of the body gets a infection you don’t see the bone marrow going, “well hey guys so I am not cool with this so I think I am just going to head out.” Instead the marrow produces white blood cells to fight the infection. So this should be us as a church. We need to rally and love the rest of our body. Now this does not mean we condone the corruption that is happening, but you care for a wound to heal it not beat it. I guess my primary concern is just to love the church. And it really is as simple as that.
So I figured I needed to do one post that is the about me post, so this is it. I am a 22 year old girl, who feels God has called me to embark on a life of missions photography. Although I am not sure how this endeavor will play out, I have recently clung to the fact (as my wonderful friends and family have so lovingly put it) that God does not glorify in where we end up but rather in the walk we take with him to get there. So even though I have no idea where this may take me, God has definitely given me little “cookies” I guess to keep my interest. I know it’s pretty sad that God has to bribe me like a little squirrel to keep me following him, but it’s kind of amazing to me that he does it anyway. That is how involved God is in our world and lives.
Cookie #1 A vision for community
-imagine this. Being actively involved in a person’s life who lives 5,000 miles away would if you talked to on the phone wouldn’t even know what you are saying. To me I really feel burdened to promote and create ideas to achieve a worldwide community of Christians. We are scattered when we have the technology to resolve this. Example, look at the New Testament letters. Mail to months to get to one another yet they have a closer knit community despite the lack of technology then we have today. What I feel my role is to play in this: hmm maybe photographer, or facilitator. My question what is the best way to facilitate this change yet not allow it to take over primary means of communication. I feel like that whole thing was confusing…
Cookie #2 Cynicism and its place within the modern church
-things that make me sad: the corruption of today’s church. Hardly anyone can deny that today’s church faces corruption. A comfort is knowing that yesterdays church did as well. You can hardly read through the New Testament without reading about problems that the church faced back then. It’s through those books that we start to realize that on this Earth the church will always face corruption within its walls. It’s a sad sucky fact but a true one. Although the way to clearly deal with this may be hidden I can certainly give you two ways not to. #1 cynicism. For so many years of my life I hated the church. My way of dealing with this hate was to remove myself from the church with the thought of, “Hey I am better than them.” This primarily was a stupid decision. I prided myself on being above the church because hey I was so postmodern baby. I removed myself from a institution instead of helping it. It’s true the church needs help. But primarily the church as a whole needs our love, as its body. Cutting off the little toe from the body of the church does not heal the rest of the body but rather hurts it and makes it bleed and prone to infection. If you look at the human body when one part of the body gets a infection you don’t see the bone marrow going, “well hey guys so I am not cool with this so I think I am just going to head out.” Instead the marrow produces white blood cells to fight the infection. So this should be us as a church. We need to rally and love the rest of our body. Now this does not mean we condone the corruption that is happening, but you care for a wound to heal it not beat it. I guess my primary concern is just to love the church. And it really is as simple as that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)