My Health

So, a big concern as of late has been about my health. For those that don’t know the primary concern is that I keep getting sick, and each time I get sick its worse and it last longer. For example last week I ended up getting an IV in my arm to rehydrate me and nourish me back to health. It worked (yay!). The issue is for how long. I feel like in 5 more days I will just be sick again. After talking to various doctors and nurses, I have received a full panel blood test specifically for lupus, leukemia, and lymphoma. To me these three are pretty heavy words. I feel like I should be worried but I’m not. Facing this has just cemented the fact to me that the God that I love is a big God. Which means he is so much bigger than any of this. And for today I am just securely resting in him.
It was funny because last week, the doctors were concerned with appendicitis. So I had one really bad day where I was struck with the thought of, “wow any given moment now I could just die.” So after being plagued for half the day I was really struck by the truth of this statement but not because of appendicitis but because we are vulnerable as human beings and there has been many tragedies and untimely or expected deaths that have proved this over and over. So why then do we not live as if each moment is our last, because not to be morbid but it could be and there is great hope that rest within that. And I do not mean by having fun or taking risks but rather investigating the hope that we have in life. Because let’s be honest, when you are dying are you looking for that one last thrill or the meaning behind it all? I think I am going for the latter, which is why I feel blessed because I do know the meaning behind it all! To serve and glorify God, and to help other rest in the hope that I have found in Christ. That is pretty darn awesome. And although this proves to be such a simple statement carrying it out has proved to be the most difficult, compromising, heart wrenching challenge I ever have endured and that my friends is what makes life worth living: when you have something to fight for.

So today I am fighting for the peace just to Rest in God. Here are some of the encouraging verses that are helping me today:

“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:27